Top 5 All-Time Favourite Ships

After watching a video on this topic (because procrastinating is fun!), I thought it would be a neat little exercise to come up with my own list of all-time favourite ships. After all, there are plenty of shows I’ve been hooked on purely because of its ships. So here we go!

 (Note that these all come from TV shows. I’m really much more of a TV person than a movie person, and as much as I read, there aren’t enough couples I ship that come from books to create a list, so let’s just focus on TV couples for now.)

 (Also note: not ONE. SINGLE. COUPLE. on this list ended up together as of yet. Two are definitely broken up, two shows are in progress and the other stayed broken up in the original show by the end. So actually being together isn’t a part of the criteria, is what I’m saying.)

#5. Lucas x Maya (Lucaya), Girl Meets World

I feel a bit weird putting this couple on this list when I consider every couple I've ever shipped. But if I'm being honest with myself, I'm hard pressed to find another couple I care so much about right now. So the fact that they're on here at all is a pretty damn big deal.

The players: Maya Hart and Lucas Friar

Current relationship status: He’s dating her best friend, but neither seem all that into the other in a romantic sense. Previously the three were stuck in a not-a-triangle triangle. Lucas and Maya went on a super awkward date that hasn't been mentioned since. Never explicitly said but heavily implied that even though he chose Riley (the bff), the Lucaya drama is far from over. If the show gets picked up for a season four, there is a good chance they will end up together in some way. 

Best shipping moment: There are too many to pick, considering they have never even been together. But it’s a toss up between the almost kiss by the campfire in Texas and the shirt grab/mega flirt moment in Girl Meets Rules, when they were bantering about his street cred.

Why do I ship them? Their chemistry, plain and simple. I have no idea if Michael Jacobs & Co. planned on something happening between these two from the get-go, or if they noticed at some point that their chemistry is undeniable and decided to do something about it. It’s anyone’s guess. But their chemistry is legitimately 100% the reason why I became a regular watcher of Girl Meets World. They are so much fun to watch. Fingers crossed we get a renewal because if these two never actually get together, it will hurt.

#4. Nick x Jess, New Girl 

The players: Nick Miller and Jessica Day

Current relationship status: Roomfriends. (Roommates + friends). Exes. She still has feelings for him, but he’s dating Regan, who may or may not be moving in with them soon.

Best shipping moment: Nothing can ever beat their first kiss. Hottest kiss on TV, ever. See for yourself: 

Why do I ship them? Again, it boils down to chemistry. I’d still be watching New Girl even if they had never gotten together, but these two have a little bit of magic between them that makes all of their interactions a delight to watch. And at the end of the day, they were a sweet couple who really care about each other – and still do, even as exes. I’m rooting for these crazy kids to get together and I have a feeling that barring some bizarre unexpected cancellation or something, this will be the ONE couple on my list that actually ends up together. (Lucaya has the potential to be together too, but that is largely dependent on a season renewal and even that's not a guarantee they'll have a chance. I'd put my money on Nick and Jess being the ones to go the distance.)

#3. Jack x Rachel, Boy Meets World 

Kinda funny that I have TWO couples on my list from Michael Jacobs-land, isn’t it? 

The players: Jack Hunter & Rachel Maguire

Current relationship status: Broken up. When BMW ended, it was hinted that they would probably get back together at some point. Or at least, you could say “yeah, I think if we got an update of the gang 10 years down the line, Jack and Rachel probably got married” and I doubt anyone would argue. However, according to Girl Meets World, they didn’t get back together and haven’t spoken in a really long time. Not completely unrealistic, I suppose, but damn. Way to crush that dream.

Best shipping moment: Hmm, this is actually a hard one. I like that they were two roommates who had fallen for each other but wanted to keep it a secret to spare Eric’s feelings – their secret make-outs were hot to preteen me. But I think my favourite moment, if I have to pick one, is their little smooch at the end of the dinner party episode. It was so sweet!

Why do I ship them? Honestly, I can’t tell you. For some reason, I really, really liked them together. They were a nice contrast to the super serious couples on the show and they seemed like a natural fit. I can’t pinpoint why, exactly, but they were one of the first (if not the very first) couples I hardcore shipped back in the day, and for that, they deserve a spot on my list. I absolutely could have swapped out these guys for Lucaya, but when considering the historical context of my ships, Jack and Rachel deserved to be higher. 

#2. Logan x Veronica (LoVe), Veronica Mars

The players: Logan Echolls and Veronica Mars

Current relationship status: If we're only taking TV shows into account, then: broken up but still totally hot for each other. If we're considering the follow up movie: BACK TOGETHER THE WAY THE GOOD LORD INTENDED. Finally! They kind of had to get back together in the movie because there  would have been rioting in the streets otherwise. 

Best shipping moment: I don’t know if I have one, because everything about them was and is great. Buuuut gun to my head? Logan’s “epic” speech. One of the most iconic scenes in the whole series. Watch: 

Why do I ship them? Their chemistry and the dynamic between them. They were friends, then they hated each other – he was pretty cruel to her for a long time after her best friend/his girlfriend was murdered. But slowly they became friends again, and finally everything came to a head when they kissed, and LoVe was born. They have serious chemistry and even when they hate each other, they’re an unrivaled tour de force. Some things have to be seen to be believed, and LoVe is one of them.

And finally, we have…

#1. Jackie x Hyde, That '70s Show

It was really hard for me to pick a number one, and for a while, LoVe and Jackie & Hyde were tied for first. But there’s just something special about these guys that gave them the edge...

The players: Jackie Burkhart and Steven Hyde

Current relationship status: It pains me to type this but…broken up. (More on this in a previous post.)

Best shipping moment: Again, I’m having a really hard time coming up with just one moment, because there’s a lot to choose from, so I’m going to cheat and say some of my favourite things from the show were the little Jackie and Hyde moments before they started dating. I loved seeing them be together, of course, but it was especially fun watching them get there.

Honourable mentions go to Hyde giving Jackie a smooch at the cabin, anytime they got cuddly together, and the heartbreaking moment Hyde tells her he loves her.

Why do I ship them? The answer to this question is why I ranked them above LoVe instead of settling for a tie. I really, really like how Jackie and Hyde influenced each other for the better. Without even meaning to, they helped each other change into better people – even their friends knew they were better together than apart. And it was especially wonderful to see the character development in Hyde – angry, loner Hyde who doesn’t care about anyone or anything actually fell in love with, and truly loved, Jackie. The one and only time Hyde said those three words were to Jackie and honestly? That was a huge deal. The show didn’t make it the biggest deal – there was no plot point around him saying it, or not saying it, or anything at all – but to us longtime fans, it was a huge moment for his character.

Jackie and Hyde not ending up together is one of the biggest insults I can imagine in TV Land, to be perfectly honest. They were a fan favourite, time and effort had been put into getting them together in an organic way, and they had tons of chemistry. They were able to be together and still be interesting – they had plenty of break-up drama, sure, but unlike other couples, the driving force of their relationship came from them actually being together and not from the “will they or won’t they?” back and forth. Jackie and Hyde are definitely, without a doubt, my favourite ship of all time.  Buzzfeed agrees with me.

The mystery of That 70's Show is finally solved

Masters of zen.

Holy crap you guys, I'm baaaaa-aaaack! After years and years away, I decided to make my triumphant-ish return with a post on something I've always wondered about.

It's no secret to anyone that knows me that I love That 70's Show when it aired for the first 7 years. When the eighth season aired, however...like many other fans, I turned on the show. I stopped watching regularly, only making a point to watch the series finale. As much as I was heartbroken by the direction the show had gone in, I wanted to take it full circle - I distinctly remember watching the premiere, and I wanted to watch the finale.

The final season of T7S was pretty brutal. Topher Grace and Ashton Kutcher had left, and one of the worst Cousin Olivers of all time, Randy, came onto the scene. As if that weren't bad enough, the writing became lazy and the characters we'd grown to know and love over the last seven years suddenly weren't themselves anymore. Donna and Eric broke up off screen with little fanfare, Fez inexplicably turned into a ladies' man, Kitty's affinity for drinks went from amusing to genuinely concerning, and in one of the more painful changes, all of Hyde's character development went down the tubes and he became a legitimate asshole.

And of course...that ending. Now, it's also no secret to anyone who knows me that I am a HUGE Jackie and Hyde fan. Massive. Even to this day, they are one of my all-time fictional pairings. So needless to say, I was really upset they didn't end up together. Irrationally so. In fact, it's been an entire decade since the finale, almost down to the day, and I'm still annoyed whenever I think about the last few minutes of the series.

I've always wondered why the show runners, producers, et. al decided to break them up for good. My general hypothesis was that they really wanted to do something to shake up the show for its final season and do some unexpected things as a means of retaining their audience after Grace & Kutcher's departures. Well, they definitely did the unexpected.

Over the years, I've tried to do a little bit investigating into the matter. Back in 2006, television and social media weren't really married to each other. Nowadays, it's not uncommon for a show's creator to be interviewed or tweet about every twist and turn a show does. For example, I. Marlene King, creator of Pretty Little Liars, gets interviewed four times a season at least (premiere & finale of the A & B parts of a season, more if there's a special episode). If T7S was airing right now, I might have gotten answers sooner. But alas, I didn't really find anything from anyone on the show who talked about the changes it underwent in the last season.

Until recently.

First and foremost, I stumbled upon this tweet by Danny Masterson, who played Hyde:

Danny gets it.

It made me strangely happy to know that Danny himself was unhappy with ending. One of my other hypotheses for the show ending the way it did was because Danny & Mila Kunis (Jackie) didn't particularly care for the pairing, or just wanted to do something different. I'm glad to see I was wrong about that!

Then, the other day, I stumbled upon a freaking goldmine of info. I have to warn you, I can't make a guarantee or promise this is what happened for real, since it's not 100% verified, but it makes a lot of sense. So strap in and read on!

Flashback to season six.  At some point during the season, it was assumed that season seven would be its last for various reasons (many of which probably have to do with contracts, and how a lot of shows originally intend to stop at seven seasons). It was going to be Topher and Ashton's last for sure, and series show runners Jeff & Jackie Filgo announced they were leaving the show after seven seasons as well. It's important to note that the Filgos were huge Jackie & Hyde fans. 

Allegedly, when the series was going to end at seven seasons, the plan was to have Jackie & Hyde engaged in the finale. This makes sense, especially if you think back to a season 6 episode (Do You Think It's Alright, 6x18) where Hyde sees Jackie in a wedding dress and calls her beautiful. 

The show's biggest what-if

Later on, the show got picked up for its eighth and final season, so the plan for Jackie and Hyde's engagement got shifted around. (If I had to hazard a guess, the renewal came around the mid-to-later part of season 7, when they kept breaking up and getting back together.) According to my source, the cliffhanger of Hyde finding Jackie in Chicago with Kelso was probably done with the intention of setting up next season's drama and conflict before the engagement, and not as a means of splitting up the couple for good.

Since the Filgos were steadfast in their decision to leave after season 7, two new show runners were hired. And these two people - who had no prior connection or involvement with the show - didn't like the Jackie and Hyde pairing. They actually preferred Jackie and Fez, for reasons not understood by the sane. 

There's more to the story - again, remember while this is just a rumour, I remember hearing something about this back then too. Apparently, Wilmer Valderrama (Fez) only agreed to return to the show for season eight if Fez got a major overhaul and got a serious love interest. (My source's take is slightly different - he wanted to be with one of the main girls. I think my version has more truth to it, because a) Caroline came back, unexpectedly and b) reasons I'll address in a minute.) So if that's true, and if the new show runners preferred Jackie and Fez, getting them together is a no-brainer.

Pictured: Utter bullshit

Now, at first, this is where the story ended. Mystery solved, time to move on after wondering why the show was suddenly on crack eight years in: the original show runners were gone, and their replacements didn't care about character development or what the fans wanted to see. It's not an exaggeration to say Jackie & Hyde were hugely popular, and I know I'm not remotely alone in my disappointment and hatred of the nonsensical Jackie-Fez ending. Even if I still dislike the outcome, at least I had answers.

And then I found out even more information, information that is starting to finally give me some goddamn closure (I'm only partially kidding). From what I've read, Danny and Mila fought tooth and nail against what was happening in the eighth season. They fought for Jackie & Hyde - ultimately, they simply had no power to change anything. 

Okay, recall time! A few paragraphs ago, I said I didn't think Wilmer specified being with one of the main characters. The reason why I think this is that allegedly, everyone was against ending the show with Jackie and Hyde apart. Everyone wanted them together, and everyone said so, but again - the cast was powerless to make it happen. If that's true, it contradicts the theory Wilmer wanted Fez to be with one of the main girls, unless he meant Fez being with Donna (which was never going to happen), and lends credence to what I heard - that he wanted a serious love interest, period. 

Really, it all comes down to this. I'm still mad about my favourite pairing not being together, and it kills me to think what we would have gotten if Fox hadn't been greedy and squeeze the cash cow as dry as possible. But at least I know what happened, and knowing Danny and Mila were against makes me feel better about it. It's hard to explain why, but I think it makes me happier to know this pairing meant a lot to them, too. 

Jackie and Hyde were my favourite part about the show, and something I always look forward to during a re-watch. Maybe one day I'll write a quick overview of the development of their characters and why I liked them so much, but for now, I can close the book on this mystery. 

Pictured: Best couple ever

 The mysterious source

Sims 4 Review

Here it is at last, my extremely belated review of The Sims 4! I've played enough to have gotten a sense of it and my overall impression is not so positive.

A little background: I've played the Sims since the very first expansion pack, Livin' Large. I've played almost every single Sims game EA/Maxis has released, so I feel like I'm pretty qualified to be talking about this (that, and it's my opinion). I liked Sims 2 when it came out, but when Sims 3 was released, I abandoned S2 quickly. There was so much improvement over S2 that I couldn't go back to what I'd had before. Sims 3 is not without its problems, but overall it was a huge step forward for the efranchise.

Sims 4, however, feels like a 2014 incarnation of Sims 2, and in a nutshell, that's probably my biggest problem with it. Let's take a more in-depth look, shall we?

1. Return of the Loading Screen - Without a doubt, this is my number 1 issue with Sims 4. Any time you want to step off your lot, even if you just want to say hi to your next door neighbour, you have to sit through a loading screen. Granted, they aren't too long, but they get tedious very quickly. It makes me stay at home with my Sims as much as possible, and that means I'm getting bored (and cabin fever) pretty quickly. The best thing the Sims franchise ever did was introduce the open world in S3; it's a damn shame they got rid of it. Yes, my game runs smoother, but I'm honestly not sure if that was a fair trade.

2. Unless everyone's in the same place, you can only control one Sim at a time. Want to send little Bobby and Suzy to the park while Mom goes to the gym and Dad stays at home to skill up? Make your choice, because you can only control one lot at a time without sitting through loading screens. It's a disjointed way of playing and makes having bigger families a lot more difficult to control.

3. Speaking of difficult to control, overall I find this game a lot harder than it needs to be. Were people complaining that Sims 3 wasn't challenging enough? You have to have certain skills. complete a daily task and go to work/school in a certain mood (which often changes moments after your Sim leaves, especially if they're prone to anger, sadness, etc.) in order to get a promotion or get good grades. Micromanaging has always been a feature in the Sims, but I find there's a lot more of it in Sims 4. It could be a bug in my game, but I find my Sims aren't very smart (despite what the ads will tell you). If my Sim is hungry, she won't go eat some food unless she's in the red. Same thing with the bathroom - she's more likely to pee her pants than she is to autonomously use the bathroom to take care of herself. Overall, I find I'm spending so much time taking care of these idiots, doing the same thing over and over again just to get a promotion that it doesn't leave a lot of time for fun activities.

4. Multi-tasking was really hyped up as a big new deal when the game was coming out, but I don't find it to be all that. There are times when it's come in handy, I can't deny that. But it's extremely - and I mean extremely - tedious when you're talking to a Sim out in public and EVERYONE in the vicinity comes rushing over to join in. It's obnoxious, especially if you're trying to get your flirt on with someone in particular - it somehow turns into a group flirt and everyone feels awkward.

I'm also not a fan of the multi-task queue. If your Sim is watching TV and chatting to someone, and he is moments away from pissing his pants, clicking on the toilet isn't good enough to get him to go. You have to actively X out his multi-tasking activities in order to get him to go. I can't begin to describe how annoying this is, especially when it's something your Sim desperately needs to do.

5. Everything takes forever. I'm not kidding. It will take my Sim at least an hour to eat a bowl of cereal. She'll take a bite, look around, sit there for a while doing nothing before taking a second bite. I have to get them up so damn early for school and work just to get them fed and ready to go for the day.

6. The emotions don't add too much to the game - not to the extent I was lead to believe. I hope they add new ones with the inevitable 37 expansion packs in the future. And more importantly, they NEED to add more traits. This was another huge step forward that happened in Sims 3 and to whittle personality traits down to a measly 3 for a fully grown adult is terrible. Between that and the surprisingly few traits we got with the base game, a lot of my Sims seem to have the same personalities over and over again, and that's really boring, IMO.

7. The worlds feel small. There are only a handful of empty spaces to build a house and there are only a few lots to visit. Even if you travel back and forth between neighbourhoods, there's only so many times you can visit the same 6 lots over and over again.

8. I really miss Create a Style. I didn't think I would, but holy crap, I do. I get they didn't want a lot of textures to clog up the game play, but it sucks you can't re-colour anything. They never have the exact colour combo I'm looking for in the styles I want in Create a Sim, and that's frustrating.

9. Build mode is obnoxious if you don't have a mouse. If I want to rotate anything, I have to drop the item first, then rotate my screen and pick the object back up. It's very annoying and I tend to skip build mode as much as humanly possibly.

10. Y U NO AUTO ROOF? I really, REALLY hope they add this back in at home point - it's not very intuitive and most of my roofs look ridiculous. Not everyone is a builder, EA.

So, is there anything I like about the game, you ask? Yes, yes there is:

1. Visually the game is beautiful. I got used to the more cartoony look and feel of the game, and I think they did a nice job of designing the towns and Sims.

2. Create a Sim is awesome. I'm  not terribly skilled at creating a Sim that I imagine in my head, or of a real person/pre-existing character, but that's on me, not the game. I love the pre-styled looks for when I get lazy, I like that you can make some really unique body types, I like that there's a surprising amount of content in CAS and that you can wear anything at any time. Want your wedding dress to be a bathing suit? Why not!

3. Build mode, while a pain in the ass for this laptop user, is admittedly pretty easy for the most part. I've never been a builder, so I love the pre-made rooms (though I wish there were more). I like you can redesign your house without too much of a fuss - something that will come in handy for upgrading your shack to a mansion!

Overall opinion - eh. It's a disappointment, to be frank. If you loved Sims 2, you'll like this game. If you prefer Sims 3, you probably won't. Simple as that. It's a little easier to swallow if you pretend it's a Sims ripoff and not the real deal, but....they really dropped the ball on this one. Too many fans bitched about how much more they liked the Sims 2 better than Sims 3 and we're all paying the price. Hopefully, future expansions and patches will make this game more enjoyable, but it seems like the biggest problems are core features of the game that won't go away anytime soon.

Darkness of Night Music; or, Entertaining Myself

Oh hey there. Yes, it's been a while, and I apologize for that. Life + technical difficulties got in the way for a while there, but I'm back! For your amusement and mine, here are the Google translate lyrics to Music of the Night. Why? Well, why not?

Night time sharpens , improves every experience .
The darkness prevented and arouse the imagination.
Abaddon, but in a calm feeling in his defense.
Slowly , gently, night unfurls its splendor.
Turn your face to the sun Garrish .
Evenings I thought memorabilia cold indifference of light and music .

Close your eyes and dream antautuatumma
Clears the thoughts of the life you knew before
Close your eyes, let your spirit start to soar
And you'll live as you've never experienced before

Softly, deftly , music surround
feel it , hear it , approaching around
Open your mind , let your fantasies to rest
In this darkness that you know you will not fight
Darkness of night music

Let your mind start a journey in a strange new world
To give up all the point of view of the world you knew before
Let your soul if you're looking to get
Only then can you draw

Floating , falling, sweet intoxication
Touch me , trust me , savor each sensation
Let the dream begin let your darker side give
With the power of the music that I write
Power of the music night

You can only do my tracks run
Help me to make music at night

Annnnnd….The Point of No Return:

that here
In pursuit of your deepest desires
This desire
silent
Silence.

I sent you
Our passion can melt and combine
In your mind you've already succumbed to me , dropped all objections
fully compatible
Now that you're here with me
no worries
You need to decide
Decision .

Not seen again for the point of no return ,
Our producers - believes that these games end
Historic whole idea of ​​" if " or " when " makes no sense to defend
Abandon the idea and let the dream go down

Fire raging flood the soul ?
What rich desire unlocks the door ?
What sweet seduction lies before us ?

Beyond the point of no return , the final threshold
What warm unspoken secrets we learn?
In addition to the point of no return

You brought me to this moment when words run dry
Until the moment when the language disappears into silence , silence
I came here , I do not know why
In my mind, I thought , our bodies rank
Vulnerable room and now I'm here with you
No worries , I decided to choose

For a point of no return , no return
Our passion play now finally started
Trap any thoughts right or wrong , one last question
How long should we wait until we have two of them ?

When the blood starts to race
Sleeping bud burst into bloom?
When will the flames at last with us ?

Beyond the point of no return , the final threshold
Cross bridge , so stand and watch it burn
We have passed the point of no return

Let's say you share with me one love , one life
Lead me , save me from my solitude
You say I want you here beside you
Wherever you go , you leave me , Christine , that's all I ask.

Penny & Luke; Or, a sad realization about saying goodbye to "How I Met Your Mother"

Minutes ago, it was revealed that Ted Mosby's children's names are Penny and Luke. For the last 9 years, we've seen countless reaction shots from his long-suffering, nameless kids. And now, I'll never be able to look back at past episodes without knowing who they are.

It's starting to hit me that in a few weeks time, I'll know how Ted met the mother. There will never be a time when I don't know how the story came to be. There will never be a "but we'll get to that" story that I won't know the ending to. I've finally realized how the full impact of the show coming to an end, and it's surprisingly painful.

A lot of fans, and even more haters, have said for a while that they want Ted to meet the mother sooner than later, but I've never been a part of that group. I've always enjoyed the journey, even when we go down some roads a few times over (Robin. I'm talking about Robin). I've been excited every step of the way for every piece of new information, every clue, but I've still enjoyed the journey. And now that it's almost over...I'm more sad about it than I care to admit.

I haven't gotten into too many mystery shows over the years. Veronica Mars is one that comes to mind, and Pretty Little Liars is a new one I've gotten into (though it's still on the air). Up until now, I've never thought of HIMYM as mystery because I already know the outcome: Ted meets the woman of his dreams, marries her and has two kids. I never knew that the journey itself could be the biggest journey of all. It'll be weird going back and watching all of those clues, all of those red herrings and finally knowing the truth. As of now, there are still unanswered questions, but the time on that is running out fast.

I'll have a lot more to say once the finale airs, and it will probably be less eloquent than what I've written. But I wanted to take a minute and really appreciate how much fun it's been, waiting for clues. Searching for that yellow umbrella. Waiting to meet the mother. I wanted to say all of that while I still can, while there is still some mystery left. Because soon, there won't be anymore. Ted will have met the mother and we will have no more theories to discuss, no more surprises to discover, no more calves to glimpse in the doorway. I appreciate every bombshell that gets dropped - hey Luke and Penny - but it also means we are one step closer to the end. I want to savour it and reflect on how much I've loved this show.

The finale airs March 31st. Like I said, I will have a lot to discuss once it airs....

...but more on that later.

Survivor Seasons Ranked: Part 2

Part one of the list is here!

12. China – I feel badly for putting this so low on my list, because it gave us a lot of great things. It gave us a unique location, some all-star players and some great game play. Todd's domination in FTC is something all potential Survivor players should watch, because it's a thing of beauty. Unfortunately, it also gave us the beginning of the final three format and is probably the biggest perpetrator of the winner’s edit. Still, it was a great season – but like Exile Island, there are more seasons that were simply better.

11. Africa – I have a feeling a lot of people would disagree with this ranking. And I admit, it may largely have to do with nostalgia. But hear me out: Africa was a unique location and presented wild animals killing you at night as a legit threat. We saw some truly awesome fan favourites in Lex and Big Tom. Africa featured a tribal shake up for the very first time in the show’s history, which sent everyone scrambling. Between this and one of the show’s best (and my personal favourite) winners to date in Ethan, Africa may also be an underrated season. This may change with another viewing at some point, but it deserves a shot at the title. Plus, fun fact: this was the first time a winner got the prize with a 5-2 vote.

10. Amazon – Survivor divided its tribes in a specific way for the first time in Amazon, giving us the battle of the sexes. It was a blast to watch and a shame when the tribes were switched up relatively early on in the game. With Amazon, we saw some great players, especially in Rob Cesternino. We had our first handicapped player in Christy, who is deaf. There certainly wasn’t a lack of strategy in Amazon, and it still holds up extremely well after all of these years.

9. Pearl Islands – I recently re-watched this first season and was surprised to see how good it was. Solid players, solid strategy and the introduction of two extremely opposite players: sweet, loveable Rupert and lying, manipulative Johnny Fairplay. And okay, it has to be mentioned: love it or hate it, Fairplay’s “my grandmother died” scheme is one of the most classic moments in Survivor history. Pearl Islands also had a pirate theme to it, which I enjoyed a lot more the second time around. Even if you didn’t like the Outcasts twist, and especially if you didn’t like Lil in the final two, it was a great season that is a must-watch for any new viewers.

8. Marquesas – I’m not sure how I feel about this particular ranking. On the one hand, it gave us many great things and is probably an underrated classic. On the other, it’s been a good 12 years since I watched the season. Considering how early on Marquesas came in Survivor history, I could be remembering it with rose coloured glasses. But let’s talk about the good, shall we? Marquesas took us back to the beach, gave us the first time one tribe dominated over the other (Rotu didn’t go to tribal council until day 15) and introduced us to the likes of Kathy and…. Boston Rob. Yep, Boston Rob gave us his first performance and at the time was extremely notorious. Marquesas also gave us what is likely to be the first major blunder of an alliance: the Rotu 4 revealed the tribe’s pecking order during a challenge, which resulted in the others coming together and voting them out one by one. Sweet. Unfortunately, Marquesas also gave us our first arguably weak final two in Vecepia and Neleh. It was the first – and up until recently – only time the players had to go to rocks to determine a split vote. Poor Paschal.

7. Tocantins – This season is ranked around the middle in most other Survivor lists, but I have always heartily disagreed. There was some solid game play here, most noticeably with the “secret” alliance between Taj, JT and Stephen.  We got the most memorable Bromance with JT and Stephen, which was adorable and something I’d like to see more of in the future. We saw some great players – Tyson especially – and love him or hate him, we saw the first installment of Coach. Tocantins also gave us the first “perfect game” winner in JT, who won all jury votes without a single vote cast against him. Way to go! Bizarrely, it marks the last time we saw a final two, which is quite unfortunate.

6. Cook Islands – This was another one of those seasons where I was pleasantly surprised at how well it has aged. It started out as a heated controversy – the tribes were divided up by race – but even without that element, it was a great season. The turning moment was when all players were given the chance to mutiny and join the other tribe – and two players did! The other tribe was shrunk down to only a couple of players, and against all odds, they came back to make it to the end. Incredible! Plus, this season gave us some of my favourite players: Parvati, Penner, Yul and – at the time – Ozzy. (Let’s talk about Ozzy for a sec. I loved him in Cook Islands, but after his lame showmance with Amanda in Micronesia, I liked him less. When he came back as an arrogant prick in South Pacific, I was over it.) Cook Islands also gave us one of the most random and hilarious moments, when one of the earliest castaways to get voted out declared his love for Candice at tribal, even though they’d exchanged about 5 words. Watch Jeff Probst’s reaction to that, you will not regret it. All of this paired with a stunning location, definitely give this one a go. 

5. Palau – Once my second all-time favourite season, I admit this one didn’t hold up quite as well as I remembered. The winner’s edit was too obvious, as was the boot list. However, Palau has the distinction of being the first and only season of Survivor to feature a tribe that completely decimated the other tribe and is the only season to never officially have a merge. That was incredibly fun to watch! You couldn’t but feel for Steph as she desperately watched her tribe get smaller and smaller, and she couldn’t do a damn thing about it. Plus, Palau gave us one of my favourite winners in Tom. He was a true leader of his tribe and will go down as one of the most deserving winners, in my books.

4. Philippines – Pretty much everything about this season worked, and worked incredibly well. There was a great twist: three returning players who had been med evac’d from their previous installment were back to take another shot at the title. Another thing Philippines had going for it: Malcolm. Malcolm became the new Golden Boy of Survivor, and nobody can get enough of him. Even though he didn’t win, everyone was satisfied with a deserving winner in Denise. Between this and some great game play, Philippines has earned its spot in the top 5.

3. Caramoan – I’m just as shocked as you are to see such a recent season crack the top three. Admittedly, the first half of the season wasn’t quite as strong. Bringing the mentally unstable Brandon Hantz back was a mistake, and we all paid the price. His epic meltdown wasn’t fun to watch – it was actually horrifying and sad. (Caramoan also brought us the Jeff Probst back rub. Make fun of it all you want, but Jeff knows what he’s doing out there. Props to him for being such a solid host.) Post-merge, the season took off flying. There were so many twists, turns and blindsides, I can barely keep track. Sure, there were a few unpleasant moments – most notably Brenda forcing Dawn to take out her false teeth at final tribal – but we also saw some of the best game play in the show’s history. "Hold up, bro!" will forever be one of my favourite Survivor moments. 

2. Australia – Yes, I have some residual guilt ranking this season so high because of nostalgic reasons. Australia was the first season I watched, and so it will forever hold a place in my heart. But you know what? I feel okay with this decision, because I can defend it well. Australia gave us some really great, memorable players – especially with Skupin, Colby, Tina and even Jerri, who was the first-ever Survivor villainess. Australia gave us the first and worst injury in the game to date – Mike Skupin falling in the fire and severely burning his hands – and perhaps the only injury to make a serious impact on the rest of the game. But one of the reasons why Australia was so good was because it showed the castaways truly surviving. They were out there the longest (42 days instead of the 39 that has marked the show before and since Australia). They endured some incredibly grueling weather when a flood completely destroyed their camp. They were so hungry that Elisabeth’s hair was falling out and Jeff Probst had to come to their camp and do an exchange for rice. (I highly suspect these last two things are the reason why they nixed the 42 days idea – they may have genuinely worried someone would die of starvation or malnutrition out there!) We saw the Survivors truly survive out in the Outback, and while there have been many seasons since where the contestants have had bad weather, I don’t think any of them suffered as badly as the Australian cast. That may not make it sound appealing, but damn, it was fascinating to watch.

And the all-time best season is….

1. Fans vs. Favourites – As if there were any doubt. FvF gave us what is probably the best example of an alliance taking charge of the game, dominating it and taking it to the end. We saw some of the best blindsides in the show’s history, as well as some of the most ridiculous tribal councils rivaled only by FvF 2 (Caramoan, for those keeping track). Parvati is probably the best to play the game, and she more than deserved her win. She mastered the game and executed it perfectly. I know this is a great season, because I can go back and watch it again and again, and still enjoy every minute of it. Great players, great moves, great strategy. If I had to choose one season to use as an introduction to someone who’s never seen the show, this would be it. 

Where will Blood vs. Water fall on this yet? Time will tell! Catch the finale this Sunday. 

Survivor Seasons Ranked: Part 1

It should come as no surprise that I am a big Survivor fan. I’ve been watching it for almost as long as it’s been on, and along the way I’ve seen some great moments. To celebrate the fact that we are one episode away from finishing a great season, I thought I’d post my rankings of the Survivor seasons thus far (Blood vs. Water isn’t included since it’s not over yet! Anything could happen!).  

This is all just personal opinion and there are some controversial rankings, so be warned!

And since this is a loooong post, I broke it up into two parts.

26. Redemption Island – The only season that I started to watch but never finished (though I tuned in to the FTC and reunion). The whole thing was set up to be a Russell vs. Rob showdown, but the minute Russell got voted out, they pretty much handed Rob the million dollars on the spot. And why not? Everyone else was incapable of playing the game. Plus, it gave us Redemption Island, which I think works better in theory than in reality. Between RI and the extreme predictability of the winner, this has got to be one of the most boring seasons of all time. (And it gave us Philip “The Specialist” Shepherd and his pink panties. I think this speaks for itself.)

25. Nicaragua – The only word I can use to describe this season is “ugly.” It was a mean-spirited season with bad game play, unmemorable players and two of the worst twists in Survivor history: the thankfully never seen again Medallion of Power and separating the tribes into old versus young. Plus, two players quit days before the end of the game. That was just painful to watch.

24. Thailand –It’s been ages since I’ve seen this season, so maybe it’s not entirely fair to rank a season I haven’t seen in over a decade so low. What I do remember, unfortunately, is quite bad. Thailand was the fifth season, and it was the first to feature an extremely unlikeable cast. There were a few decent people out there, but they got booted right away. Even the winner wasn’t someone you could cheer for, but when compared to the other players left, you were forced into cheering for Brian. The fake merge was funny, but...yeah. Sorry, Thailand. 

23. One World – Having the two tribes to live on the same beach was actually an interesting and fresh idea, but the thing that lands this season so low on my list is a lack of great players. And I mean that in every sense of the word – there were a lot of bad players, and some of the players who were good strategists were truly disgusting people (Colton. I’m talking about Colton). However, at least it gave us a truly deserving winner for the first time in a while: Kim Spradlin. I'd love to see her play again.

22. Samoa – The only memorable thing was Russell. And that’s not so much of a good thing, in my eyes. As much as I detest that man and everything he stands for, he pulled off some amazing blindsides and was the first player to find idols without needing the clues. I will regret putting this out there for the world to see, but: Russell made this season and was refreshing after watching so many complacent, boring players in the game. There, I said it. However, one compelling player does not a season make. 

21. Fiji – I seriously have no recollection of this season other than the haves vs. have-nots twist (WHAT DID THEY THINK WAS GOING TO HAPPEN?? OF COURSE THE PEOPLE WITH FOOD AND SHELTER DOMINATED!). I vaguely remember Yau-Man and even less vaguely remember winner Earl (although he was the first player to win unanimously). There was something about a Dreamz-Yau Man car deal that caused controversy, but I don’t even remember that too well. This season is generally thought of as forgettable, so I don’t feel too bad not having any memory of it. (I don’t even have memories of watching it, although I’m sure I did.)

20. Vanuatu – I have very little recollection of this season as well. Its winner Chris Daughtry (no, not that Chris Daughtry) deserves props for being the last man standing to win the damn thing in a season of men versus women and when the women had a fairly solid alliance. We saw some great players – Ami and Eliza – for the first time. But other than that, I don’t remember very much. In fact, this was the first season that I didn’t watch in its completion when it aired, which is saying something.

19. Guatemala – I recently re-watched this season and was surprised at how much I enjoyed it. I even considered moving it higher on the list, but decided I couldn’t because of how many truly great seasons there have been before and since. But man, was this a brutal season! Between their grueling two-day hike to their camps and the fact they couldn’t go swimming without a crocodile-proofed pool, these guys endured a lot. Many of the big, strong guys were depleted for days, which is unusual. The game play was decent, but prior to my re-watch, all I could remember was how angry some of the players were (Judd and Jamie come to mind). I loved Stephenie in her first season, but she came off as whiny and entitled this time around. I liked Rafe, I liked winner Danni Boatwright (and loved how she outed an ex-NFL player, heh), I loved the location. But that’s pretty much it. Not counting the last season, this is the only season, I believe, to not feature any returning players. (Steph in HvV doesn’t count, since this wasn’t her original season.) Interesting, because this was the first season to new and returning players.

18. Borneo – Now don’t hate me. I have never seen this season. I know, it’s the one that started it all, and for such a fan, it’s hard for even me to come to terms with the fact I haven’t watched it. But you want to know why I haven’t seen it? It’s boring. It was a much different game back then. Things were a lot simpler. And while I don’t always love the many twists and turns shoved down our throats with newer seasons, there’s something to be said for people who are hungry for strategy and great game play. I’ve tried watching it, but honestly, I can’t make it past the first episode. (I put it here because of its legacy to the show; I can’t fairly rank a season I haven’t seen, but it felt wrong to put it at the bottom of the list. I have little recollection of seasons 21-19 on this list, so it seemed right to rank Borneo at the top of that cluster, if that makes any sense.)

17. South Pacific – The somewhat high-ish ranking of this season surprises even me, because it gave us the return of one of my least favourite players, Ozzy (we’ll see more on him later), brought us back to Redemption Island and gave us someone whose occupation is being Russell Hantz’s nephew (Brandon). But South Pacific is a season that gave us Cochran and, more importantly and interestingly, gave us a completely new Coach. I groaned when I heard he was coming back yet again, but he surprised me with how much he’s changed, how much he learned and how well he managed to play the game. I found myself rooting for him in the end (but was pretty content to see Sophie win it). In other words, casting saved this season from hitting rock bottom, and for that, I'm grateful!

16. All-Stars – I was psyched when they announced an all-star version of Survivor and couldn’t wait to watch…until I watched. This was the first time that the “playing with strangers” element was removed from the game, and as it turns out, I didn’t have a lot of fun watching it. Players became genuinely hurt by others’ actions to the point where I was almost uncomfortable. There were some great players who made terrible decisions based on friendships outside the game, which resulted in one of the nastiest, most hurt-filled and personal final tribal councils ever. Plus, it turned out Amber as a winner. As if watching her showmance with Rob wasn’t bad enough, All-Stars gave us the first winner who only got the prize as a vote against the other finalist. 

15. Heroes vs. Villains – Ranking this season so low on my list is somewhat a controversial decision, but I didn’t enjoy watching it as much as everyone else did. Yes, it was nice to see a season full of truly great players (except for maybe Candice), but between seeing some of my favourites perform so poorly (Colby) and watching Russell worm his way into the finals for the second time in as many seasons, I tend to give this a pass on my re-watch list.

14. Gabon – It almost pains me to put this so low simply because the location was fabulous. Lush, beautiful, full of wild animals – Gabon was, in a word, stunning. Unfortunately, the location was the most memorable and likeable thing about it. Oh sure, it was fun seeing Sugar survive on Exile Island so many times. Bob’s fake immunity necklace remains unrivaled in faked immunity apparel. And it was great seeing the nice guy win for the first time in a long time. Crystal yelling at her voting confessional -  and the players' reaction to it - was priceless. But unfortunately, there was a lot of underlying nastiness to it. Corinne and Sugar’s feud was gross, especially when it exploded at final tribal council. Sugar and company laughing hysterically at Randy’s immunity necklace faux pas was reminiscent of mean girls in high school, and Sugar’s hot and cold temperament got tiresome pretty quickly. Hmm, there seems to be a running theme to this season…

13. Exile Island – The only reason why this season tends to pop up around this spot in most Survivor lists isn’t because it’s bad – it’s because there are too many seasons that are better. But it’s actually an entertaining season! We saw one player decimate everyone in challenges, only to screw up at the last moment (Terry). We met Cirie and our lives were never the same. We met Shane, whose nicotine withdrawal was unpleasant, yet still compelling. We got Exile Island, and while I was fairly indifferent to the concept, it’s fun to see players work out these big twists for the first time. I believe it also gave us the hidden immunity idols for the first time, which was the beginning of an era.  On top of a likeable winner, Exile Island was pretty damn good. 

The top 12 seasons in the next post!