Survivor Seasons Ranked: Part 1

It should come as no surprise that I am a big Survivor fan. I’ve been watching it for almost as long as it’s been on, and along the way I’ve seen some great moments. To celebrate the fact that we are one episode away from finishing a great season, I thought I’d post my rankings of the Survivor seasons thus far (Blood vs. Water isn’t included since it’s not over yet! Anything could happen!).  

This is all just personal opinion and there are some controversial rankings, so be warned!

And since this is a loooong post, I broke it up into two parts.

26. Redemption Island – The only season that I started to watch but never finished (though I tuned in to the FTC and reunion). The whole thing was set up to be a Russell vs. Rob showdown, but the minute Russell got voted out, they pretty much handed Rob the million dollars on the spot. And why not? Everyone else was incapable of playing the game. Plus, it gave us Redemption Island, which I think works better in theory than in reality. Between RI and the extreme predictability of the winner, this has got to be one of the most boring seasons of all time. (And it gave us Philip “The Specialist” Shepherd and his pink panties. I think this speaks for itself.)

25. Nicaragua – The only word I can use to describe this season is “ugly.” It was a mean-spirited season with bad game play, unmemorable players and two of the worst twists in Survivor history: the thankfully never seen again Medallion of Power and separating the tribes into old versus young. Plus, two players quit days before the end of the game. That was just painful to watch.

24. Thailand –It’s been ages since I’ve seen this season, so maybe it’s not entirely fair to rank a season I haven’t seen in over a decade so low. What I do remember, unfortunately, is quite bad. Thailand was the fifth season, and it was the first to feature an extremely unlikeable cast. There were a few decent people out there, but they got booted right away. Even the winner wasn’t someone you could cheer for, but when compared to the other players left, you were forced into cheering for Brian. The fake merge was funny, but...yeah. Sorry, Thailand. 

23. One World – Having the two tribes to live on the same beach was actually an interesting and fresh idea, but the thing that lands this season so low on my list is a lack of great players. And I mean that in every sense of the word – there were a lot of bad players, and some of the players who were good strategists were truly disgusting people (Colton. I’m talking about Colton). However, at least it gave us a truly deserving winner for the first time in a while: Kim Spradlin. I'd love to see her play again.

22. Samoa – The only memorable thing was Russell. And that’s not so much of a good thing, in my eyes. As much as I detest that man and everything he stands for, he pulled off some amazing blindsides and was the first player to find idols without needing the clues. I will regret putting this out there for the world to see, but: Russell made this season and was refreshing after watching so many complacent, boring players in the game. There, I said it. However, one compelling player does not a season make. 

21. Fiji – I seriously have no recollection of this season other than the haves vs. have-nots twist (WHAT DID THEY THINK WAS GOING TO HAPPEN?? OF COURSE THE PEOPLE WITH FOOD AND SHELTER DOMINATED!). I vaguely remember Yau-Man and even less vaguely remember winner Earl (although he was the first player to win unanimously). There was something about a Dreamz-Yau Man car deal that caused controversy, but I don’t even remember that too well. This season is generally thought of as forgettable, so I don’t feel too bad not having any memory of it. (I don’t even have memories of watching it, although I’m sure I did.)

20. Vanuatu – I have very little recollection of this season as well. Its winner Chris Daughtry (no, not that Chris Daughtry) deserves props for being the last man standing to win the damn thing in a season of men versus women and when the women had a fairly solid alliance. We saw some great players – Ami and Eliza – for the first time. But other than that, I don’t remember very much. In fact, this was the first season that I didn’t watch in its completion when it aired, which is saying something.

19. Guatemala – I recently re-watched this season and was surprised at how much I enjoyed it. I even considered moving it higher on the list, but decided I couldn’t because of how many truly great seasons there have been before and since. But man, was this a brutal season! Between their grueling two-day hike to their camps and the fact they couldn’t go swimming without a crocodile-proofed pool, these guys endured a lot. Many of the big, strong guys were depleted for days, which is unusual. The game play was decent, but prior to my re-watch, all I could remember was how angry some of the players were (Judd and Jamie come to mind). I loved Stephenie in her first season, but she came off as whiny and entitled this time around. I liked Rafe, I liked winner Danni Boatwright (and loved how she outed an ex-NFL player, heh), I loved the location. But that’s pretty much it. Not counting the last season, this is the only season, I believe, to not feature any returning players. (Steph in HvV doesn’t count, since this wasn’t her original season.) Interesting, because this was the first season to new and returning players.

18. Borneo – Now don’t hate me. I have never seen this season. I know, it’s the one that started it all, and for such a fan, it’s hard for even me to come to terms with the fact I haven’t watched it. But you want to know why I haven’t seen it? It’s boring. It was a much different game back then. Things were a lot simpler. And while I don’t always love the many twists and turns shoved down our throats with newer seasons, there’s something to be said for people who are hungry for strategy and great game play. I’ve tried watching it, but honestly, I can’t make it past the first episode. (I put it here because of its legacy to the show; I can’t fairly rank a season I haven’t seen, but it felt wrong to put it at the bottom of the list. I have little recollection of seasons 21-19 on this list, so it seemed right to rank Borneo at the top of that cluster, if that makes any sense.)

17. South Pacific – The somewhat high-ish ranking of this season surprises even me, because it gave us the return of one of my least favourite players, Ozzy (we’ll see more on him later), brought us back to Redemption Island and gave us someone whose occupation is being Russell Hantz’s nephew (Brandon). But South Pacific is a season that gave us Cochran and, more importantly and interestingly, gave us a completely new Coach. I groaned when I heard he was coming back yet again, but he surprised me with how much he’s changed, how much he learned and how well he managed to play the game. I found myself rooting for him in the end (but was pretty content to see Sophie win it). In other words, casting saved this season from hitting rock bottom, and for that, I'm grateful!

16. All-Stars – I was psyched when they announced an all-star version of Survivor and couldn’t wait to watch…until I watched. This was the first time that the “playing with strangers” element was removed from the game, and as it turns out, I didn’t have a lot of fun watching it. Players became genuinely hurt by others’ actions to the point where I was almost uncomfortable. There were some great players who made terrible decisions based on friendships outside the game, which resulted in one of the nastiest, most hurt-filled and personal final tribal councils ever. Plus, it turned out Amber as a winner. As if watching her showmance with Rob wasn’t bad enough, All-Stars gave us the first winner who only got the prize as a vote against the other finalist. 

15. Heroes vs. Villains – Ranking this season so low on my list is somewhat a controversial decision, but I didn’t enjoy watching it as much as everyone else did. Yes, it was nice to see a season full of truly great players (except for maybe Candice), but between seeing some of my favourites perform so poorly (Colby) and watching Russell worm his way into the finals for the second time in as many seasons, I tend to give this a pass on my re-watch list.

14. Gabon – It almost pains me to put this so low simply because the location was fabulous. Lush, beautiful, full of wild animals – Gabon was, in a word, stunning. Unfortunately, the location was the most memorable and likeable thing about it. Oh sure, it was fun seeing Sugar survive on Exile Island so many times. Bob’s fake immunity necklace remains unrivaled in faked immunity apparel. And it was great seeing the nice guy win for the first time in a long time. Crystal yelling at her voting confessional -  and the players' reaction to it - was priceless. But unfortunately, there was a lot of underlying nastiness to it. Corinne and Sugar’s feud was gross, especially when it exploded at final tribal council. Sugar and company laughing hysterically at Randy’s immunity necklace faux pas was reminiscent of mean girls in high school, and Sugar’s hot and cold temperament got tiresome pretty quickly. Hmm, there seems to be a running theme to this season…

13. Exile Island – The only reason why this season tends to pop up around this spot in most Survivor lists isn’t because it’s bad – it’s because there are too many seasons that are better. But it’s actually an entertaining season! We saw one player decimate everyone in challenges, only to screw up at the last moment (Terry). We met Cirie and our lives were never the same. We met Shane, whose nicotine withdrawal was unpleasant, yet still compelling. We got Exile Island, and while I was fairly indifferent to the concept, it’s fun to see players work out these big twists for the first time. I believe it also gave us the hidden immunity idols for the first time, which was the beginning of an era.  On top of a likeable winner, Exile Island was pretty damn good. 

The top 12 seasons in the next post!