Thursday, December 12, 2013

Survivor Seasons Ranked: Part 2

Part one of the list is here!


12. China – I feel badly for putting this so low on my list, because it gave us a lot of great things. It gave us a unique location, some all-star players and some great game play. Todd's domination in FTC is something all potential Survivor players should watch, because it's a thing of beauty. Unfortunately, it also gave us the beginning of the final three format and is probably the biggest perpetrator of the winner’s edit. Still, it was a great season – but like Exile Island, there are more seasons that were simply better.

11. Africa – I have a feeling a lot of people would disagree with this ranking. And I admit, it may largely have to do with nostalgia. But hear me out: Africa was a unique location and presented wild animals killing you at night as a legit threat. We saw some truly awesome fan favourites in Lex and Big Tom. Africa featured a tribal shake up for the very first time in the show’s history, which sent everyone scrambling. Between this and one of the show’s best (and my personal favourite) winners to date in Ethan, Africa may also be an underrated season. This may change with another viewing at some point, but it deserves a shot at the title. Plus, fun fact: this was the first time a winner got the prize with a 5-2 vote.

10. Amazon – Survivor divided its tribes in a specific way for the first time in Amazon, giving us the battle of the sexes. It was a blast to watch and a shame when the tribes were switched up relatively early on in the game. With Amazon, we saw some great players, especially in Rob Cesternino. We had our first handicapped player in Christy, who is deaf. There certainly wasn’t a lack of strategy in Amazon, and it still holds up extremely well after all of these years.

9. Pearl Islands – I recently re-watched this first season and was surprised to see how good it was. Solid players, solid strategy and the introduction of two extremely opposite players: sweet, loveable Rupert and lying, manipulative Johnny Fairplay. And okay, it has to be mentioned: love it or hate it, Fairplay’s “my grandmother died” scheme is one of the most classic moments in Survivor history. Pearl Islands also had a pirate theme to it, which I enjoyed a lot more the second time around. Even if you didn’t like the Outcasts twist, and especially if you didn’t like Lil in the final two, it was a great season that is a must-watch for any new viewers.

8. Marquesas – I’m not sure how I feel about this particular ranking. On the one hand, it gave us many great things and is probably an underrated classic. On the other, it’s been a good 12 years since I watched the season. Considering how early on Marquesas came in Survivor history, I could be remembering it with rose coloured glasses. But let’s talk about the good, shall we? Marquesas took us back to the beach, gave us the first time one tribe dominated over the other (Rotu didn’t go to tribal council until day 15) and introduced us to the likes of Kathy and…. Boston Rob. Yep, Boston Rob gave us his first performance and at the time was extremely notorious. Marquesas also gave us what is likely to be the first major blunder of an alliance: the Rotu 4 revealed the tribe’s pecking order during a challenge, which resulted in the others coming together and voting them out one by one. Sweet. Unfortunately, Marquesas also gave us our first arguably weak final two in Vecepia and Neleh. It was the first – and up until recently – only time the players had to go to rocks to determine a split vote. Poor Paschal.

7. Tocantins – This season is ranked around the middle in most other Survivor lists, but I have always heartily disagreed. There was some solid game play here, most noticeably with the “secret” alliance between Taj, JT and Stephen.  We got the most memorable Bromance with JT and Stephen, which was adorable and something I’d like to see more of in the future. We saw some great players – Tyson especially – and love him or hate him, we saw the first installment of Coach. Tocantins also gave us the first “perfect game” winner in JT, who won all jury votes without a single vote cast against him. Way to go! Bizarrely, it marks the last time we saw a final two, which is quite unfortunate.

6. Cook Islands – This was another one of those seasons where I was pleasantly surprised at how well it has aged. It started out as a heated controversy – the tribes were divided up by race – but even without that element, it was a great season. The turning moment was when all players were given the chance to mutiny and join the other tribe – and two players did! The other tribe was shrunk down to only a couple of players, and against all odds, they came back to make it to the end. Incredible! Plus, this season gave us some of my favourite players: Parvati, Penner, Yul and – at the time – Ozzy. (Let’s talk about Ozzy for a sec. I loved him in Cook Islands, but after his lame showmance with Amanda in Micronesia, I liked him less. When he came back as an arrogant prick in South Pacific, I was over it.) Cook Islands also gave us one of the most random and hilarious moments, when one of the earliest castaways to get voted out declared his love for Candice at tribal, even though they’d exchanged about 5 words. Watch Jeff Probst’s reaction to that, you will not regret it. All of this paired with a stunning location, definitely give this one a go. 

5. Palau – Once my second all-time favourite season, I admit this one didn’t hold up quite as well as I remembered. The winner’s edit was too obvious, as was the boot list. However, Palau has the distinction of being the first and only season of Survivor to feature a tribe that completely decimated the other tribe and is the only season to never officially have a merge. That was incredibly fun to watch! You couldn’t but feel for Steph as she desperately watched her tribe get smaller and smaller, and she couldn’t do a damn thing about it. Plus, Palau gave us one of my favourite winners in Tom. He was a true leader of his tribe and will go down as one of the most deserving winners, in my books.

4. Philippines – Pretty much everything about this season worked, and worked incredibly well. There was a great twist: three returning players who had been med evac’d from their previous installment were back to take another shot at the title. Another thing Philippines had going for it: Malcolm. Malcolm became the new Golden Boy of Survivor, and nobody can get enough of him. Even though he didn’t win, everyone was satisfied with a deserving winner in Denise. Between this and some great game play, Philippines has earned its spot in the top 5.

3. Caramoan – I’m just as shocked as you are to see such a recent season crack the top three. Admittedly, the first half of the season wasn’t quite as strong. Bringing the mentally unstable Brandon Hantz back was a mistake, and we all paid the price. His epic meltdown wasn’t fun to watch – it was actually horrifying and sad. (Caramoan also brought us the Jeff Probst back rub. Make fun of it all you want, but Jeff knows what he’s doing out there. Props to him for being such a solid host.) Post-merge, the season took off flying. There were so many twists, turns and blindsides, I can barely keep track. Sure, there were a few unpleasant moments – most notably Brenda forcing Dawn to take out her false teeth at final tribal – but we also saw some of the best game play in the show’s history. "Hold up, bro!" will forever be one of my favourite Survivor moments. 

2. Australia – Yes, I have some residual guilt ranking this season so high because of nostalgic reasons. Australia was the first season I watched, and so it will forever hold a place in my heart. But you know what? I feel okay with this decision, because I can defend it well. Australia gave us some really great, memorable players – especially with Skupin, Colby, Tina and even Jerri, who was the first-ever Survivor villainess. Australia gave us the first and worst injury in the game to date – Mike Skupin falling in the fire and severely burning his hands – and perhaps the only injury to make a serious impact on the rest of the game. But one of the reasons why Australia was so good was because it showed the castaways truly surviving. They were out there the longest (42 days instead of the 39 that has marked the show before and since Australia). They endured some incredibly grueling weather when a flood completely destroyed their camp. They were so hungry that Elisabeth’s hair was falling out and Jeff Probst had to come to their camp and do an exchange for rice. (I highly suspect these last two things are the reason why they nixed the 42 days idea – they may have genuinely worried someone would die of starvation or malnutrition out there!) We saw the Survivors truly survive out in the Outback, and while there have been many seasons since where the contestants have had bad weather, I don’t think any of them suffered as badly as the Australian cast. That may not make it sound appealing, but damn, it was fascinating to watch.

And the all-time best season is….

1. Fans vs. Favourites – As if there were any doubt. FvF gave us what is probably the best example of an alliance taking charge of the game, dominating it and taking it to the end. We saw some of the best blindsides in the show’s history, as well as some of the most ridiculous tribal councils rivaled only by FvF 2 (Caramoan, for those keeping track). Parvati is probably the best to play the game, and she more than deserved her win. She mastered the game and executed it perfectly. I know this is a great season, because I can go back and watch it again and again, and still enjoy every minute of it. Great players, great moves, great strategy. If I had to choose one season to use as an introduction to someone who’s never seen the show, this would be it. 

Where will Blood vs. Water fall on this yet? Time will tell! Catch the finale this Sunday. 

Survivor Seasons Ranked: Part 1


It should come as no surprise that I am a big Survivor fan. I’ve been watching it for almost as long as it’s been on, and along the way I’ve seen some great moments. To celebrate the fact that we are one episode away from finishing a great season, I thought I’d post my rankings of the Survivor seasons thus far (Blood vs. Water isn’t included since it’s not over yet! Anything could happen!).  

This is all just personal opinion and there are some controversial rankings, so be warned!

And since this is a loooong post, I broke it up into two parts.

26. Redemption Island – The only season that I started to watch but never finished (though I tuned in to the FTC and reunion). The whole thing was set up to be a Russell vs. Rob showdown, but the minute Russell got voted out, they pretty much handed Rob the million dollars on the spot. And why not? Everyone else was incapable of playing the game. Plus, it gave us Redemption Island, which I think works better in theory than in reality. Between RI and the extreme predictability of the winner, this has got to be one of the most boring seasons of all time. (And it gave us Philip “The Specialist” Shepherd and his pink panties. I think this speaks for itself.)

25. Nicaragua – The only word I can use to describe this season is “ugly.” It was a mean-spirited season with bad game play, unmemorable players and two of the worst twists in Survivor history: the thankfully never seen again Medallion of Power and separating the tribes into old versus young. Plus, two players quit days before the end of the game. That was just painful to watch.

24. Thailand –It’s been ages since I’ve seen this season, so maybe it’s not entirely fair to rank a season I haven’t seen in over a decade so low. What I do remember, unfortunately, is quite bad. Thailand was the fifth season, and it was the first to feature an extremely unlikeable cast. There were a few decent people out there, but they got booted right away. Even the winner wasn’t someone you could cheer for, but when compared to the other players left, you were forced into cheering for Brian. The fake merge was funny, but...yeah. Sorry, Thailand. 

23. One World – Having the two tribes to live on the same beach was actually an interesting and fresh idea, but the thing that lands this season so low on my list is a lack of great players. And I mean that in every sense of the word – there were a lot of bad players, and some of the players who were good strategists were truly disgusting people (Colton. I’m talking about Colton). However, at least it gave us a truly deserving winner for the first time in a while: Kim Spradlin. I'd love to see her play again.

22. Samoa – The only memorable thing was Russell. And that’s not so much of a good thing, in my eyes. As much as I detest that man and everything he stands for, he pulled off some amazing blindsides and was the first player to find idols without needing the clues. I will regret putting this out there for the world to see, but: Russell made this season and was refreshing after watching so many complacent, boring players in the game. There, I said it. However, one compelling player does not a season make. 

21. Fiji – I seriously have no recollection of this season other than the haves vs. have-nots twist (WHAT DID THEY THINK WAS GOING TO HAPPEN?? OF COURSE THE PEOPLE WITH FOOD AND SHELTER DOMINATED!). I vaguely remember Yau-Man and even less vaguely remember winner Earl (although he was the first player to win unanimously). There was something about a Dreamz-Yau Man car deal that caused controversy, but I don’t even remember that too well. This season is generally thought of as forgettable, so I don’t feel too bad not having any memory of it. (I don’t even have memories of watching it, although I’m sure I did.)

20. Vanuatu – I have very little recollection of this season as well. Its winner Chris Daughtry (no, not that Chris Daughtry) deserves props for being the last man standing to win the damn thing in a season of men versus women and when the women had a fairly solid alliance. We saw some great players – Ami and Eliza – for the first time. But other than that, I don’t remember very much. In fact, this was the first season that I didn’t watch in its completion when it aired, which is saying something.

19. Guatemala – I recently re-watched this season and was surprised at how much I enjoyed it. I even considered moving it higher on the list, but decided I couldn’t because of how many truly great seasons there have been before and since. But man, was this a brutal season! Between their grueling two-day hike to their camps and the fact they couldn’t go swimming without a crocodile-proofed pool, these guys endured a lot. Many of the big, strong guys were depleted for days, which is unusual. The game play was decent, but prior to my re-watch, all I could remember was how angry some of the players were (Judd and Jamie come to mind). I loved Stephenie in her first season, but she came off as whiny and entitled this time around. I liked Rafe, I liked winner Danni Boatwright (and loved how she outed an ex-NFL player, heh), I loved the location. But that’s pretty much it. Not counting the last season, this is the only season, I believe, to not feature any returning players. (Steph in HvV doesn’t count, since this wasn’t her original season.) Interesting, because this was the first season to new and returning players.

18. Borneo – Now don’t hate me. I have never seen this season. I know, it’s the one that started it all, and for such a fan, it’s hard for even me to come to terms with the fact I haven’t watched it. But you want to know why I haven’t seen it? It’s boring. It was a much different game back then. Things were a lot simpler. And while I don’t always love the many twists and turns shoved down our throats with newer seasons, there’s something to be said for people who are hungry for strategy and great game play. I’ve tried watching it, but honestly, I can’t make it past the first episode. (I put it here because of its legacy to the show; I can’t fairly rank a season I haven’t seen, but it felt wrong to put it at the bottom of the list. I have little recollection of seasons 21-19 on this list, so it seemed right to rank Borneo at the top of that cluster, if that makes any sense.)

17. South Pacific – The somewhat high-ish ranking of this season surprises even me, because it gave us the return of one of my least favourite players, Ozzy (we’ll see more on him later), brought us back to Redemption Island and gave us someone whose occupation is being Russell Hantz’s nephew (Brandon). But South Pacific is a season that gave us Cochran and, more importantly and interestingly, gave us a completely new Coach. I groaned when I heard he was coming back yet again, but he surprised me with how much he’s changed, how much he learned and how well he managed to play the game. I found myself rooting for him in the end (but was pretty content to see Sophie win it). In other words, casting saved this season from hitting rock bottom, and for that, I'm grateful!

16. All-Stars – I was psyched when they announced an all-star version of Survivor and couldn’t wait to watch…until I watched. This was the first time that the “playing with strangers” element was removed from the game, and as it turns out, I didn’t have a lot of fun watching it. Players became genuinely hurt by others’ actions to the point where I was almost uncomfortable. There were some great players who made terrible decisions based on friendships outside the game, which resulted in one of the nastiest, most hurt-filled and personal final tribal councils ever. Plus, it turned out Amber as a winner. As if watching her showmance with Rob wasn’t bad enough, All-Stars gave us the first winner who only got the prize as a vote against the other finalist. 

15. Heroes vs. Villains – Ranking this season so low on my list is somewhat a controversial decision, but I didn’t enjoy watching it as much as everyone else did. Yes, it was nice to see a season full of truly great players (except for maybe Candice), but between seeing some of my favourites perform so poorly (Colby) and watching Russell worm his way into the finals for the second time in as many seasons, I tend to give this a pass on my re-watch list.

14. Gabon – It almost pains me to put this so low simply because the location was fabulous. Lush, beautiful, full of wild animals – Gabon was, in a word, stunning. Unfortunately, the location was the most memorable and likeable thing about it. Oh sure, it was fun seeing Sugar survive on Exile Island so many times. Bob’s fake immunity necklace remains unrivaled in faked immunity apparel. And it was great seeing the nice guy win for the first time in a long time. Crystal yelling at her voting confessional -  and the players' reaction to it - was priceless. But unfortunately, there was a lot of underlying nastiness to it. Corinne and Sugar’s feud was gross, especially when it exploded at final tribal council. Sugar and company laughing hysterically at Randy’s immunity necklace faux pas was reminiscent of mean girls in high school, and Sugar’s hot and cold temperament got tiresome pretty quickly. Hmm, there seems to be a running theme to this season…

13. Exile Island – The only reason why this season tends to pop up around this spot in most Survivor lists isn’t because it’s bad – it’s because there are too many seasons that are better. But it’s actually an entertaining season! We saw one player decimate everyone in challenges, only to screw up at the last moment (Terry). We met Cirie and our lives were never the same. We met Shane, whose nicotine withdrawal was unpleasant, yet still compelling. We got Exile Island, and while I was fairly indifferent to the concept, it’s fun to see players work out these big twists for the first time. I believe it also gave us the hidden immunity idols for the first time, which was the beginning of an era.  On top of a likeable winner, Exile Island was pretty damn good. 

The top 12 seasons in the next post!