Twilight is...

Some lulz-y screencaps. Yes, they're real - try it yourself!




1. Ha. With the exception of a few (is aweome, is better than Harry Potter), this pretty much says it all.



2. I love how SMeyer's poor writing skills show up on this list no less than three times. Also, I keep reading "Mormon" as "moron." But really, Stephenie Meyer is hot? Seriously? She's not ugly, but...yeah, not hot.



3. Weird, a horrible actress, annoying and an idiot. That's kind of how I feel about her. Except for perhaps the latter. She certainly presents herself as an idiot in interviews and in the press and whatnot, but she says she's just awkward, so I'll give her the benefit of the doubt, since I'm in a generous mood today. The on drugs thing is funny, because she was photographed smoking pot during the filming of Twilight. I find that hilarious, and what's even funnier was people's reactions. Duhhhh, people smoke weed. It's not the end of the world, people. And lastly, people think she's pregnant? I don't know why, but that makes me laugh way too much.



4. I feel guilty about this one, since I actually like R-Patz. I'm not all OMG HE'S SOOOOOOOO HOT!!!!!!1! about him. I just think he's a poor soul who got sucked into all this Twilight crap. Though, I have to say, I agree about the dirty boy thing - he doesn't seem to have a grasp on basic hygeine, which is a little concerning. But people want to know if he's a virgin? Hahahahahhaahahaahahaha. Hahahahahaha. Hahaha. Ha. That's priceless.

Hope you enjoyed these as much as I did!

A Black Day in Pop Culture

Michael Jackson and Farrah Fawcett have died today, as I'm sure you have heard by now. And I'm in shock. I was following Farrah's tragic battle with cancer, and was saddened but not surprised to hear of her passing. My heart goes out to her friends and family watching a loved one go through something like that is one of the worst things that can happen to a person. She was a legend and she will be missed.

Michael Jackson's death came as huge shock to me, like everyone else. It's so strange to think that this man, who changed the face of music and revolutionized the art of music videos, is gone. Admittedly, I was never a huge MJ fan, but when I think of his songs I know, I like them all. I particularly like The Way You Make Me Feel. Thriller is probably the most influential music video - I know that my own heartthrobs, the Backstreet Boys, emulated the epic dance with their own Backstreet's Back. He truly was the King of Pop. There is no one that comes close to what he has achieved and what he has inspired in others. He, too, was and legend and will be missed.

Did you just kick my door? (Or, Video of the Week #9)

Sorry it's been so long since a VotW update. But this is really funny, so I hope that it makes up for it.



Hahahaha!

Dear Stephenie Meyer...

This is something I have been meaning to blog about for a while, so I hope I do it justice.

I don’t really respect Stephenie Meyer as a person. After all, Twilight came out of her brain, so that automatically kills any respect I might have had for her. When Midnight Sun – Twilight told from Edward’s perspective – was leaked onto the internet before it was done, Steph threw a shitfit and posted this message on her official website The gist of it is that she is devastated by what happened, she is putting off Midnight Sun “indefinitely” and that this is pretty much the greatest injustice ever in the complete history of all time. Screw slave labour, forget about Nazi concentration camps. No, Midnight Sun leaking onto the internet is clearly the worst thing that has ever happened, ever.

Okay, all sarcastic comments aside, a part of me feels badly for her. I’m sure it must suck to have your work leak out into public domain, especially before its completion. According to her, it was full of spelling and grammar mistakes that she needed to send to the editor which never seemed to bother her before, given that all four of the other Twilight books are full of spelling and grammar mistakes . I can understand being annoyed and even sad over it. But hey, Stephenie Meyer? Few things:

1. MIDNIGHT SUN IS NOT A NEW STORY! It’s the exact same story that your fans know word by word. It’s just told by a different character. The outcome will be exactly the same, no matter who tells it. So stop acting like a surprise has been ruined.

2. You suck hardcore for putting the book on the back burner “indefinitely.” For someone who claims to love her fans, you really don’t seem to care what they want.

3. Have some class and stop acting like a whiny, spoiled child. The leak happened, it sucks. DEAL WITH IT. Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows was leaked in its entirety before the book was published. Did J.K. Rowling cry and stamp her feet and pull the books from the printers? No. She simply asked that those who had read the copies of the leaked book to respect those who hadn’t by not telling them what happens. Jo oozes class and maturity. Take a page out of her book, Steph.

4. Also, unrelated to the leak, but here it is: stop hiding behind your brother. He runs her website and says there’s no way to contact Stephenie Meyer since she’s “so busy.” Yeah, I’m sure, but the hell? There’s NO WAY for her fans to contact her? That’s unbelievably stupid and small-minded. Also, the letters that do reach her (I’m sure via the publishers) are screened by Seth (her bro) and all the mean, nasty, critical letters are “seen to.” (My choice of words.) Only the good ones make it to her. As someone who wants to be seen as a professional, that is the most ridiculous thing I’ve ever heard. Especially for someone who desperately needs constructive criticism.

Going back to the leak, though, I have my suspicions. The leak happened in August of 2008, not long before the movie was about to be released and only weeks after Breaking Dawn came out, mostly to negative reviews. It’s awfully coincidental that she’s putting Midnight Sun on hold “indefinitely” since there wasn’t the best hype for her last book. Why put out Midnight Sun now, when she could wait a few more years – maybe before the last movie comes out – before the buzz begins to die down? I predict she’ll announce her triumphant return to, or even the publication of, Midnight Sun before the last movie comes out on DVD (to boost sales of said DVD). I know that these things are always about money, so it doesn’t surprise me. But it’s very lame of her to take advantage of the leak, especially because she totally guilt-tripped her fans about reading it. I don’t have proof, of course, but it’s just a feeling I have.

In conclusion, Stephenie Meyer, you’re lame. If I ever met you, for whatever reason there could be, I would say two words:

Epic. Fail.

Mad Libs!

As a prezzie for not updating in like FOREVER, I give you this:

MAD LIBS!

From "The Wandering Wooly Mammoth":

"Many, many years ago there lived a woolly mammoth named Johnny Table. This
woolly mammoth was not like the other mammoths. He didn't want to hunt light
switches. Even though he had a really glittery, vain coat of hair, he hated the
cold. He dreamed of living in warmer places.

One day, his dream came true. He thought he took a short winter's nap,
but when he awoke, almost all the ice around him was gone, and he was surrounded
by grass and garden gnomes. He had hibernated for 4564654564 years!

Johnny Table decided to go explore his new neighborhood. Where his cave
used to be, now there was a(n) 231313151020251560246-story building with verbose
windows and moody doors!
He tried to get inside, but the doorman wouldn't
let him in, saying, “No cockroaches allowed!”
He didn't know what
cockroaches were, but he knew he was afraid of them.

Feeling a bit confused, he wandered around until he saw a sign that
said “Zoo.” It smelled like his friends, so he decided to weep in. He found a
section called sea otters, and they seemed to be very friendly animals, so he
made himself right at home. The zookeepers discovered him, and they were happy
to see him. They brought him big buckets of rutabagas, onions, and zuchinis. He
finally felt at home!"

Ahaha, I love Mad Libs.

Look for a VotW coming in a day or two!