Every summer, people head to Lake[my name] near Funland. There are so many things to do at the lake. Lots of people snorkel, hoping to catch a glimpse of the circular fire ants that live in the lake.
On Saturdays, people have swimming relay races. Each team has 35 members. Swimmers carry popcorn kernels that are passed from one team member to the next. The winning team is awarded bar stools and vaseline. Lots of people come to watch the races. They cheer on teams by shouting, “HOLY SHIT ON A STICK!!”
After the races, people paddle their tents around the lake. Then everyone comes back to shore for a picnic of popcorn sandwiches and haggis sundaes. Someone usually plays the monkey while people eat.
People are sad when the summer ends. But everyone looks forward to the next summer at Lake [my name] when they can snorkel above the circular fire ants, swim for prizes of bar stools and vaseline, and paddle their tents.
I enjoy this because it's so ridiculous, yet not completely unplausible. There's something slightly vulgar about winning bar stools with vaseline, but I'm not exactly sure what.
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