Yep, the title says it all. Let's just get started, shall we?
5. Prozzak
I never jumped aboard the Prozzak bandwagon, thankfully. I guess I was already ashamed that this group comes from my country; I couldn't very well enjoy their music. And really, if you were a fan of the Euro-inspired duo, you had to be a little bit shameless.
Their first album (I know, I couldn't believe they released more than one album!) came out in 1999. Hits such as Sucks to be you and Strange Disease helped the group achieve a shocking platinum status - meaning 1,00,000+ copies of the album were sold. Just stop and think about that for a sec - over one million people bought the Prozzak record. And this was in the days of Napster, so it's not like these songs were unavailable anywhere other than a music store.
Prozzak released another album in 2000, with "hits" like www.nevergetoveryou and Be As, which also went platinum. The group was even nominated for two Juno awards - which is the Canadian equivalent of a Grammy. No, seriously. They were.
Thankfully, Prozzak eventually faded into obscurity. They apparently released another album back in 2005, but much to my merriment, they never re-gained the same level of success. I'm not a heartless bitch; I don't take pleasure in other people's misfortunes (much). But I'm damn pleased that my ears were spared this time around.
Sucks to be you. I dare you to listen to this song and not get it stuck in your head for days on end. Go on. I dare you!
http://www.nevergetoveryou/. That this video has over a quarter of a million hits concerns me. What is wrong with people?! Also, that's not a real website. Way to lie, Prozzak. Or at least, way to be too cheap to make a tie-in website.
2. b4-4, 5ive & Other Shitty Boybands
But all boybands are shitty! you might be protesting. Well, yes and no. You're talking to a hardcore BSB fan here, so I can't completely agree with that statement without being a hypocrite. I bought into the boyband phenomenon pretty hard, but even I had to admit, there were a lot of terrible ripoffs. These were the ones who, inspired by my boys' success and desperate for a taste, got thrown together with a bunch of strangers with bland but not completely appalling looks and mediocre talent, given inoffensive but catchy music and cleverly choreographed dance routines. Sure, some groups achieved a minor hit or two, but none of them were ever long-lasting or outstandingly successful. Let's take a look, shall we?
One of b4-4's bigger hits, Go Go. WTF is up with the beginning? Though I'd probably scream like a bitch if I looked into the mirror and saw a member of b4-4 standing behind me.
For your amusement:
You're welcome. Also, I take back what I said about their songs being inoffensive. I'm not offended by this song, but good god. Way to be subtle, guys.
And before I wrap up on this monstrosity of a "band," I'll share with you an amusing anecdote. About two years ago, my friend dragged me on a singles cruise. (It was not my idea.) Some guy started chatting me up, and his friend buddy told me that he (the guy talking to me) was from b4-4. I kinda believed it, because the guy desperately trying to hit on me looked kinda like he could be related to the b4-4 guys, and they've faded into enough nothingness that it wasn't entirely impossible that a guy from b4-4 would voluntarily go on a singles cruise. True story.
5ive's When the Lights Go Out proves that not everything Simon Cowell touches turns to gold. They actually had quite the success in the UK, selling an impressive and, quite frankly, astounding 20,000,000 albums by 2001. Sadly for them, they never achieved any international success, as after a couple of semi-popular songs of theirs were released overseas, they were never heard from again. Thanks to Ed the Sock, I pronounce their name "Five ive." Ha.
O-Town. Truth be told, they weren't as bad as the aforementioned groups in this category. I never became a big fan, nor did I ever watch their show, but I liked one or two of their songs. Liquid Dreams is not one of them. It's a cringe-worthy song, not unlike b4-4's Get Down. I appreciate they're trying to be edgy (or, as edgy as boybands can get), but 5 20-something guys singing about wet dreams? That's just embarassing.
3. The Moffatts
Ah, the original Jonas Brothers. When these guys came out, I wasn't really a fan - though I seemed to be in the minority. Lots of my friends loved them, even going as far as following them around concert to concert. One met them outside their van at a show and gave a Moffatt a lei, and made the cliched "You just got lei'd!" joke, but it turned into an internet rumour that they actually had sex. True story.
Like them or not, the Moffatts weren't terrible. Their songs were cute, they were cute (well, more so when they got older) and they played their own instruments. What more could a 13-year-old fangirl wish for? Not much, I tell ya.
Girl of My Dreams, one of their bigger hits. The Moffatts were moderately successful, selling a few million records worldwide with their first mainstream album, Chapter One: A New Beginning. Eventually they grew up, and their sound started to change. However, it wasn't long for this world - they split up in 2001.
Damn, that song is catchy. And damn, that one Moffatt is pretty hot. I feel a little dirty for saying that.
2. GooGoo Dolls
Placing the Dolls on this list may surprise you, as most (okay, all) of the groups I've mentioned thus far have been pretty crappy and not terribly successful. But it's hard to think about popular '90s music without thinking of the GooGoo Dolls.
Goo Goo Dolls - Iris
Uploaded by ttetrd. - See the latest featured music videos.
Thanks, Dailymotion. It's officially impossible to find this video on YouTube.
Anyway. The Dolls were quite successful, having several Top 40s hits, Grammy noms and many songs used in popular 90s movies. Really, what more sucess do you need than that? Also, fans of the Dolls, don't sweat, they've got a new album coming out early next year.
And, winner of this round's Top 5 is...
1. soulDecision
Hot damn, I loved this group. Trevor, the main singer, was a total hottie. Plus, their music was fun and sweet and - dare I say? - sexy. Well, on occasion. You'll be hard-pressed to find a copy of it, but originally in Faded, the lyrics go "When I get you all alone/I'm gonna take off all your clothes." I mean, come on. That's pretty hot to an inexperienced tween.
This was their biggest hit, and it's easy to see why - it's pretty damn catchy. They had other songs that were actually really good, like Ooh It's Kinda Crazy and Let's Do it Right. They only ever achieved a moderate success, selling around 1,000,00ish copies of their first album, but they were always a smash hit in my heart.
There you have it. This is probably the most fun I've ever had posting on my blog! I hope you enjoyed reading it.
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