Goin' to the Chapel

My friend is getting married in November, which is great! She has been wanting this for years, and I'm thrilled for her.

But as for the next few months, I can't help but feel a sense of impending doom. Why?

First, there's the plus-one thing. If you're single, it can be a bummer and pretty much make you feel like a pile of crap. If you're not really seeing anybody, do you still check off the plus-one? And if you do, have you just jinxed yourself? I don't want to be presumptuous, I don't want to scramble. But dammit, sitting around a bunch of happy couples when you haven't any prospects in sight can really suck the love right out of you.

The thing that really gets me, though, is this new Jack & Jill phenomenon. It appears to be a regional thing, so if by chance you're reading this, and you've never heard of it, I'll explain. It used to be a combined bachelor/bachelorette party that has morphed into a wedding fundrasier. Basically, the bride & groom and/or bridal party throw this event, charge people money, and spend the night drinking, playing games and doing raffles/draws. And you know what? I really, really hate the idea.

I think the idea of throwing a party for the sole purpose of raising money is stupid. Weddings are expensive, both to throw and attend. I'm going to be spending money on your gift, on transportation to the wedding, and probably having to spend the night in some hotel somewhere far from home. Assuming that I'm not buying a new dress, shoes or getting my hair done, that adds up pretty quickly. So why on earth should I spend more money paying for your wedding? True, the average charge to get into a Jack & Jill is around $10. That's not very much, but if the party is in a city other than where I live, the costs are going to start adding up again.

Also, another trend I've noticed is for the bride and groom to invite everyone they know to the Jack & Jill...even if they're not planning on inviting you to the actual wedding. So...you're saying you like me enough to take my money to help pay for the wedding, but you don't like me enough to invite me to said wedding? Hmm.

The thing that really gets me, though, is the fact that Jack and Jills cost money to throw. You have to rent a venue, and unless you're disgustingly cheap, you have to hire catering, and hopefully drinks. Not to mention the prizes and any expenses necessary for raffles and games and such. True, a successful J&J will bring in a profit, but I can't see it bringing in that much extra cash.

I like the idea of a non-paying J&J. Just for fun and all that - that's completely and totally acceptable, and I would gladly attend. But if your wedding is setting you back so much that you're hitting up your friends for their pocket money, then maybe you should cut back a little.

What does any of this have to do with my friend? Nothing yet, but I can see her as the type to want a pay-for-our-wedding J&J. I'll probably end up going because she's my friend, and it's her big day and all that. But really, I just had to get this off my chest without offending anyone. Thanks, blogisphere!

Coming soon - a REAL update. I've got a fun T5 in mind, so stay tuned!